Three Card Monte Scripts

Anthony Riniti on Saturday, March 15th, 2014 Comments Off on Three Card Monte Scripts

The Rube Act of Frank Tarbeaux

1870’s – 1890’s

I remember the boys used to think nothing of using a few lengths of wire, after the telegraph

went through, to wrap around meat for broiling over the campfire. The wire made a real handy broiler.

And if the telegraph service was discommoded, why that didn’t make the meat taste any less sweet.

My fist gyps were carried on in the same spirit of hell-raising. Gyps and cons are all cases of the

biter being bitten. I got into my three-card monte gyp that way because I loved to kid, and because I loved to trim suckers.

The first real gyp in which I ever took an active part was the three-card monte gyp. All through

my younger days I had been fascinated by the fun to be gotten out of fooling people…

But, feeling the way I did, and always figuring ways to kid people, it wasn’t any wonder that I

took the three-card monte gyp. It’s the funniest act in the world to look at and I nearly died laughing when I first saw it. In fact, I laughed so hard that my pals told me I’d have to shut up or get out, as I’d spoil the game.

This gyp should be seen and heard to appreciate its artistry. It loses a deal of its color in cold

type. The reader should keep a picture of the figures in his mind to get anything like the real savor of it.

This gyp, which of course, was not one invented by me, we worked generally on railroad trains. I

worked in it mostly out of Omaha. Sometimes the train crews were in with the boys; and sometimes they weren’t. But the train crews couldn’t do anything about it, anyhow. If they’d kicked, we would have taken over the train. I guess we were pretty hard babies.

We used to win hats full of split second watches, worth anywhere from five or six hundred to a

thousand dollars, at a time when a watch was a great treasure. And we used to give one of those watches to each of a favorite train crew.

The gyp was worked by two steerers and a player. I was the player. The steerers got on the train,

and each of them selected a sucker. Conversation was easily opened, and when a steerer decided his sucker had money enough to make him worthwhile, he’d raise his hat as a signal to me.

I had gotten on the train in a linen duster and a hard hat. I had folded up the hard hat in the duster

and tossed it up on a hat rack. From my pocket I took a soft hat, and put it on. I had a dickey, with a rubber band around the neck, which when pulled up, dressed me so far as the eye was concerned in a hickory shirt.

The duster had concealed a homespun suit, dyed with butternut, a popular form of dress with

rubes. We used to call them “humspuns.” With tobacco juice leaking from the corner of my mouth, my make-up was complete. It was a lightning change make-up too.

Take off the soft hat, pull down the dickey, slip on the linen duster, and put on the hard hat, and I

was an average traveler, nothing like the gawky rube of an instant before. When I got the signal from a pal I arose from my inconspicuous seat and approached him and the sucker.

Said I:

“Any of yo’ole Yankees got a chaw of terbacker?”

My partner looked up, as if annoyed, and sharply replied:

“No!”

“Yo’ ole Yankees are mighty stingy,” I’d say. “Down wha’ Ah live when Ah asks a feller f’r a

chaw of terbacker he gives me one.”

“Where do you live?” my partner asked.

“Ah come f’om Kaintucky. Tha’s wha’ Ah was bawn, bred an’ raised—wha’ we got the prettiest

gals, the fastest hawses and the best cawn liquoh in the whole worl’—Sir, by God, sir, yo’ ole Yankees ain’t got nuthin’ up here—nuthin’!”

You see the idea at the opening was to make the sucker so mad by my attacks on Yankees that he

would be glad to trim me, and all through I was putting across my stupidity.

“You don’t seem to like the Yankees very much,” my partner said.

“Naw,” I rejoined. “We don’t like the ole Yankees. We fit agin’ the ole Yankees in the wa’. My

brother Zeke, he fit in the wa’, and’ so did Dad.”

Here, my partner whispered to the sucker:

“Let’s string this fellow along a bit, he’s apparently a character.” To me he would say, with

sudden cordiality: “Sit down, Kaintucky. Sit down. What are you doing up here?”

“Ah been up to Chycawga town,” I’d say, sitting down in the opposite seat. “Dad allus sent my

brother Bill up with the hawses to sell ‘em, but Bill took sick with the rheumaticks an’ he couldn’t come. Dad said to Mom: ‘We’ll send Bud up with the hawses this time’—Bud, that’s my name. Ah’m Bud Alexander. That’s me. Dad says: ‘They cain’t slick Bud.’

“Becuz down wha’ Ah live everybody says Ah’m as keen as a brier. Ah was stoppin’ at that

Paycific Tavern (Grand Pacific Hotel). That’s the highest hotel in the whole worl’. Well, it oughter be. That Chycawga town is the biggest town in the whole worl’.

“They got histin’ machines there. Just put your finger on a button and sh’ll shoot yo’ up wha’ yo’

live. One of the niggers that worked that histin’ machine—he looked like one of ouah niggers we call Eph. Ah used to ride up and down with him and talk to him. He was like our old Eph at home, an’ he tol’ me he’d show me aroun’ the town.

“He took me up one place—a gal house (I chuckled here)—and the gals didn’t have dresses

furder down than this (pointing to above the knees and chuckling again) an’ they axed five dollars for a bottle of pop. They don’t get but five cents for pop down wha’ Ah live, but it don’t taste the same. But I didn’t care. Ah got plenty of money. Ah sold the hawses.” (And I showed a big roll I was carrying in my inside coat pocket.)

“Young man,” my partner then said, “you shouldn’t be showing big sums of money like that

around in public. Someone is likely to take it away from you. Put it up.”

“No ole Yankee is smaht enough to take money away from Bud Alexander,” I replied. (My hot

Southern blood was boiling). “Eph took me in to one place and the’ were a fellow there. He had some cyards slickin’ ’em aroun’ on top o’ that glass snake box.

“One of the cyards had an ole man on it: another had a’ ole woman on it, and the other had a

little boy with a hoop. And he could sneak ‘em around so fast you couldn’t tell. You had to find the little boy with the hoop.

“He tole me Ah couldn’t find it, an’ Ah thought Ah could tell wha’it were. Then we just got

bettin’. He axed me if Ah would bet three hundred dollars Ah could find it. Ah said Ah would, and Ah jus’ pulled the cyard right out and put it up. But when Ah went to pick it up it weren’t there; it were another cyard.

“An then he slicked ’em over again, an’ Ah bet him three hundred dollars more, and gosh durned

if Ah could tell it. Ah lost six hundred dollars, but Ah didn’t keer. Ah tole him if he’d show me how to do it Ah’d give him three hundred dollars for the cyards, cuz ev’ry Satidy afernoon down at Davis’s logrollin’ groun’s we have pony racin’ and hawse-shoe pitchin’ and chicken fightin’” (a regular hell of a time, you see).

“Luke Hawkins—he comes to see my sister, Sal. My sister Sal used to be a schoolma’am. He

rides a purty rackin’ (colloquial for pacing) hawse, Luke does, an’ Ah’m goin’ to slick him with this game out of that there rackin’ hawse, an’ make Luke walk home when he comes to see Sister Sal. Ah been practisin’ it. Ah c’n do it so fast Ah can’t tell wha’ it is mahself. Ah got the ole cyards right here.

Ah just bringed ’em along.”

My partner said: “Let’s see them.”

“Oh naw,” I said. “Ah won’t show ’em to yo’—yo’ Ole Yankees—you’d steal ’em.”

“We wouldn’t steal them,” my partner said. “Come on, Bud, let’s see them.”

“Ah’ll show yo’ef yo’ ole Yankees won’t steal ’em. Ah’ll show yo’.” (And I show the three

cards customarily used in three-card monte—the woman, the man, and the boy with the hoop.)

“Show us here,” my partner said, spreading a duster over his knees. I threw the cards around

clumsily face down, and said:

“Now, yo’ all got to find the boy with the hoop.”

“I’ll bet you five dollars I can pick him out,” my partner said.

“Ah’ll bet yo’,” I said. “Put up your money. Ah wouldn’t trust no ole Yankee for no money, no

how. Put it up in your old uncle’s han’.” (The sucker always was called ‘uncle’ or ‘brother.’)

We each put up five dollars, and my partner won. I clumsily dropped a card, and while I stooped

down to retrieve it, my partner reached over and turned up a corner on the little boy with the hoop and showed it to the sucker, and whispered:

“We’ll have some fun with this fellow.”

Then he said to me: “I’ll bet you a hundred dollars I can pick it up this time.”

I said to him: “Ah’ll go yo’.”

When my partner won again, I said:

“Say, Ah reckon as how yo’ve seen this hyer afore. Yo’ all are too smaht fo’ me Ah reckon. Yo’

all beat me two times.” And I started to pick up the cards.

“My uncle will make you a bet,” my partner said.

“All right,” I said. “Ah’ll try him onct.”

The sucker hopped right to it, and pulled out his money, which we had been waiting for.

“Ah won’t play for no more chicken feed,” I said. “Yo’ ole Yankee cowards. In the wa’ you was

cowards. Ah’ll bet yo’ all yo’ got. That’s what Ah’ll do. Put her right up there in yore kin’s hands.”

The sucker put up his roll, and picked the wrong card.

“Thet ain’t the little boy with the hoop,” I said. “Yo’ done lost.”

I collected the bets and added:

“Ah’m goin’ back to the bed cyar and go to sleep. Ah’ll slick ’em aroun’ for yo’ in the mawnin’,

an’ bet yo’ all yo’ want.” (I acted as if I didn’t know the sucker had lost all he had, or would lose.)

Then I went, perhaps back to another car, where my second partner had another sucker, or

perhaps I changed my make-up and stepped off the train at a wayside station, and went back to town to wait for my pals to join me there.

One of my pals told me that a conductor said to him:

“I understand all about that game, that the fellow who is acting the rube is supposed to look like

a damned fool, but that one (pointing at me) really is a damned fool. Isn’t he?”

And that tickled me pink, because I was proud of my make-up, and proud of my acting in the

three-card monte gyp.

********************

Cracker Parker Mob Script

London 1950’s to 1970’s Oxford Street

The gang consisted of one ringleader—Cracker—who recruited and trained three or four teams

that would consist of six to seven people each. He would take half of the winnings, and provide

costumes, pay expenses, bail, etc. Each team could average at least £2,000 a day. Friday, Saturday and Sunday are the primary workdays for the monte mob, as that is when people are likely to be flush with cash from payday. But they will operate seven days a week.

The tosser (dealer) is the one that police always seem to arrest. The ringleader is never the tosser,

since he does not want a police record. The ringleader knows the scam inside out, and can teach the players any part. The part of the tosser requires the most skill, and takes the longest to learn.

There were several that Gazzo worked with, each with his own style and specialty. One tosser that Gazzo worked with was named “Polish” Kilczynski—a big, strong man also known as “the Bear.”

The shills can learn their individual parts in a couple of days of “on the job” training.

The team looks for a location that has good tourist traffic. They like to use the storefront of a

place that is closed or up for lease, and they want it near an alley that leads to another street so that they have a favorable escape route in case of trouble. A couple of cardboard boxes are hinged together with tape so that they can make a table for the cards. The top of the table is surrounded on three sides by a two-inch strip of cardboard that is taped to the box to provide a windbreak. A piece of newspaper is taped on top of the box to provide a good working surface.

When an emergency situation develops, one kick will send the boxes to the wall—folded one inside the other so they look like a couple of empty packing boxes. When the folded boxes are outside a closed storefront, other monte mobs know the spot is taken. (See photos of this setup in the chapter “Trays, Boxes, Tables and Umbrellas: The Layouts.”)

The minimum team consists of the tosser, two lookouts or “pickets,” four or more shills, and one

“smoother.” The shills look and dress as different from each other and from the tosser as possible, and are from different racial and ethnic backgrounds so that they look as though they couldn’t possibly be working together.

There are certain favorite characters that are commonly used. One is the Arab—a rich-looking

Arab businessman who plays for big money. Others would be a tourist, a businessman, a tradesman, or a shopper with several Harrod’s bags (these can be used as a drop for the cards and money). The “partner” shill who encourages the mark to bet with him is usually portrayed as a street-wise local.

The lookouts are stationed out of sight at either end of the street, and they keep an eye out for

police. They are also usually the “muscle” if a sucker makes trouble, or if a tough tries to strong-arm the tosser.

The “smoother” is usually a respectable-looking older gentleman, often carrying a folded

umbrella which can be used in an emergency as a dump for the cards and cash. His job is to “cool” out the victim after the scam is completed.

The tosser is the operator of the game. Since he is the most vulnerable target for the police, he

often will wear clothes that make for a good quick-change in case of trouble—like a jacket that is

reversible. Sometimes he carries an umbrella that he can open and use as a table for throwing the cards instead of the boxes. The umbrella is also a handy place to ditch money and cards in a pinch.

The tosser is a character, sort of a “goof.” He wears thick “coke bottle” glasses and is apparently

very near-sighted. He has to pick the cards up and hold them inches from his nose to read them. He also acts deaf, and wears a hearing aid.

These explain why he can’t see the bent corner on the card and can’t hear the comments of the

shills and spectators. The tosser is usually very friendly and likable, so that he seems approachable, and has a good line of chatter and jokes to keep everything fun and light-spirited. Gazzo said that the same guys who tossed the cards also worked for Cracker in perfume and jewelry street scams. This was called selling “furniture.”

Much of the same patter was used in all the scams, and Gazzo says that the Guy Ritchie movie Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels shows a gang doing the perfume sales scam in the exact same manner and using patter that could have been taught to them by Cracker Parker himself.

In his hands, the tosser keeps folded bills to pay off the winners. The bills are folded lengthwise

and then folded around the ring fingers of each hand. This way the money is always visible to the crowd, and yet out of the way of the throws. If someone tries to grab the money, he can close his fists and have a good grip on it. After all, the only way a spectator will ever get away with money is if he snatches it.

He keeps the smaller bills in the right hand, and an impressive number of big bills in the left. The

movement of the green helps to cover the sleight-of-hand by drawing the eye, and has a heating effect on the victim’s avarice.

The tosser has a set of signals that he uses to let the shills know where the winning card is

located. These are usually simple. He may keep both fists in the center of the table if the card is in the center, or one fist to either side to indicate it’s on that side. Or he may look to the left when the card is on the right, and to the right if the card is on the left. It is impossible for the gang to follow the throw of the cards just by watching.

The dealer has other verbal and visual ways of signaling the shills when he wants them to make a

particular play. He orchestrates every move.

When a “mark” first sees the group gathered around the cardboard boxes, he is attracted by the

laughter and excitement. Everyone seems to be having a good time, and the tosser is likable, and seems like an interesting and colorful “character.” As he approaches, the gang opens up for him to get in close, and then crowds in around him. He is the only one in the group that is not part of the gang.

“I don’t cry when I lose, and I don’t laugh when I win. Find the lady! This is a player’s game not

a watcher’s game. Step right up.” As the mark watches, the Arab makes a bet and wins. The tosser pays and compliments him. The mark finds it easier than expected to follow the cards, and is surprised when people bet on the wrong card. He thinks he must be much more observant than the rest of the crowd.

A spectator on the mark’s right pulls him aside. “He’s on to me. He won’t let me play. Bet this

£20 note on the one on the right for me, won’t you?” The mark takes the money and plays the card on the right. The dealer turns the card and it’s a winner! He looks up at the mark and smiles, “Beginners luck! Good on you, sir!” and he pays out. The first spectator takes the money and thanks the mark. “See, if he thinks you’re too good at it he won’t let you play.”

The mark is now convinced that the tosser will actually pay when he loses, and even more

important, the mark has actually held some money in his hands and this enflames his innate avarice. At this point, a second spectator on the mark’s immediate left places a bet in front of a card. The dealer doesn’t see who put the money down, and asks the mark to turn over the card—a winner! He “mistakenly” pays off the mark. “You’ve got a sharp pair of eyes. I’ll have to work hard to beat you, sir.”

The second spectator snatches the money from the mark’s hand and complains, “Hey, that was

my bet!” This puts the mark off balance, and once more proves that if the player wins, the dealer pays.

Once again, money has passed through the mark’s hands. And when the second spectator walks away down the street with his winnings, the mark begins to think that you can win this game, and actually walk away with your winnings. He doesn’t understand that no one ever wins, and even if they did, the dealer never pays.

The tosser throws the cards again, but as he turns to the right to answer a question, the shill on

the left sneaks a look at the Queen, and then places a £100 bet on it. The dealer didn’t see the shill cheat, and he pays even money. The mark can’t help but notice what a large amount of money the tosser is holding, and begins to think that it would be easy to take advantage of him this way, but is too timid to try.

The cheat waits until the dealer is distracted again, and takes another peek. When he makes a bet

of £50, the dealer says, “Bet £100. I want to get my money back.” As the cheating shill turns away to get more money from his wallet, the dealer slides the supposed Queen and the right hand card across the table—exchanging one card for another. The mark now realizes that the deaf and blind tosser is a cheat!

The shill makes his bet and loses, and gets really mad, but can’t say that he knows the card was a

Queen. At this point, the first shill—the one on the mark’s right—hands the mark a £20 note to bet on one of the other two cards. The dealer refuses the bet. “Only one bet per toss.”

Sometimes, at this point, the mark will venture a bet on his own. The tosser won’t accept it.

Suddenly nasty, he says, “Don’t throw your money at me that way, sir. We’re just having a little fun. This game is illegal and can get us all in trouble. If you’re going to have an attitude like that, then don’t play!” The mark’s attitude toward the tosser hardens.

The cheating shill soon gets a chance to peek again, and flashes the card to the mark. “Bet with

me this time.” The mark puts up £50 and the cheat puts up £100. The partner or “come-on” shill now tells the mark, “Put your hands on the other two cards this time so he can’t switch them.” Before the mark can act, another shill bets £500 on the same card.

“I have to take the highest bet,” the tosser announces, and pays off the £500 bet. The mark and

his shill “partner” have to take back their money.

The partner is angry. He whispers to the mark, “They always do that, see, those two work

together. He doubles the bet whenever we get the right card. We need more money. I’ve got £400. How much have you got?” At this point, another shill chimes up, “I’ve got £200. I’m in.”

While the tosser is distracted, the “partner” shows the Queen to the mark, and winks as he bends

up the corner.

“How much have you got?” This is the moment the gang has been waiting for—a chance to

“peek at the poke.” If the mark opens his wallet, they expertly assess how much money he has on him.

They want it all. Now the “partner” and the other shill hand their money (£600) to the mark.

“Make the bet.” The Arab bets £300 on the wrong card—the one without the bent corner. The mark now raises the bet, and puts his money with the shills’ money on the “right” card—the one with the bent corner.

The tosser has to take the highest bet. The shill that was identified as “working with” the tosser

now raises the bet on the same card, and the tosser turns away the mark’s bet. Exasperated, the “partner” shill calls out, “Wait, we’ve got more money.” He turns to the mark. “You’ve got more, I saw it. Come on. This is our only chance.” The two shills urge the mark to pull out everything he has on him.

The money goes down on the bent card. The tosser says, “That’s too much. I can’t handle a bet like that.”

The “partner” shill says, “Come on, play fair. You’ve got enough to cover it in your hands.” All the other shills chime in and force the play. The tosser tells the mark to turn over the card. It is a loser. This is the only time that the mark gets to touch the cards.

Cracker Parker used to explain this rule carefully and insist on his teams following it. Only if the

sucker turns the card over himself can the team avoid “claret,” or spilled blood. The mark only has himself to blame when he turns the wrong card. If the dealer turns the card, the sucker is bound to claim that the dealer switched it and a fight would start. Having the sucker turn over the card himself prevented this. Usually at the point the he turns his card over, the sucker is buried under an avalanche of sudden realizations, and is pretty much incapacitated.

As the mark is still focused in disbelief on the losing card with the bent corner, someone in the

crowd yells, “Police!” When the mark looks up, the whole crowd has completely disappeared as if by magic. Even the cardboard table is gone. The only person left standing near is a kindly, well-dressed gentleman—the “smoother.”

“Cleaned you out, didn’t they?” he asks. “Did the same thing to me a week ago. I would have

warned you, but they are a nasty bunch. They all work together, you know. They would have stuck a knife in me without a thought. But here, at least let me buy you a pint.” The smoother walks the mark to a nearby pub, but one out of the neighborhood. He buys the mark a beer, and continues, “It’s no use going to the police. It’s racketeering. You were gambling same as them. I guess the best thing is to just chalk this up to experience. Stay away from that neighborhood, though. If anyone in the gang recognizes you, they’ll think you’re there to cause trouble, and they are a vicious lot.”

In actuality, the mob abhorred violence—though only because it brought unwanted attention from the authorities. The Cracker Parker mob worked the same small area of London for more than thirty years.

The smoother gives the mark some money to cover bus fare, and wishes him luck. He leaves, but

sticks around long enough to make sure the mark doesn’t head for the police or back toward the

neighborhood just left, and then proceeds back to the storefront where the mob is already setting up again. The whole procedure lasted less than ten minutes, and the gang is back at work in five.

If a potential mark walks up to the game with a note in his hand or stuck in his breast pocket, the

gang knows that he has seen the game before, and wants to make sure he doesn’t bet more than he plans to lose.

He is too sharp to open up his wallet in front of them. They don’t waste much time on this kind, or on any victim that seems too broke or too resistant to take for a lot. The tosser will immediately go into hyped throws and take the money as quickly as possible. Then the tosser pushes him out of the game—“It’s a players game, sir, not a watchers game.” That’s when one of the bigger shills turns to him and says menacingly, “Take off!”

If the mark is promising, they go into the routine described above, and never use a hype throw

until the mark is ready to bet his wallet. The bent corner is usually not even necessary—the hype done correctly is enough to get the money. The bent corner is only used on a good prospect that needs some firming up.

*************************

The Dry Cleaner/Tailor Play

1940’s –1950’s

When Eddie Fields was staying in Los Angeles with Brian Gillis in 1997, he described this play

to Whit Haydn:

In the 1940’s, Carmen D’Amico worked the monte exclusively on dry cleaners and tailors in the

Chicago area. His partner Bob Perry would pose as a salesman. Perry would be in the establishment chatting up the proprietor. D’Amico would walk in eventually, with a coat that needed mending in an impossibly short time. As he explained his problem to the tailor, three cards fell out of the breast pocket of the coat and onto the counter.

“Excuse me, sir,” Perry said as he leaned toward him. “May I ask you why you have those cards

in your pocket? Are you a gambler?”

“Oh, no,” D’Amico laughed. “That’s just a little game that we used to play back in my

neighborhood.”

“What kind of game do you play with just three cards?”

“Well, its sort of a guessing game. It looks easy—but it’s harder than it looks. We used to play it

for money in the old days, but now I just like to play it with the kids in the neighborhood. I drive ‘em nuts with it.”

“Show me,” Perry insists.
D’Amico explains the game and tosses the cards. He has an irritating, smug attitude. The

proprietor watches with interest. Perry picks and loses. This surprises the tailor, since he could easily tell where the Ace had landed.

Perry insists on playing again and again. He loses both times. Both times, the tailor was certain

of the right card—and both times proven correct. The tailor begins to think that he must have a better than average pair of eyes.

D’Amico starts to put the cards away, and Perry insists that he play one more time. D’Amico

refuses. Perry offers to bet him 20 bucks that he can find the ace this time.

D’Amico relents.

The tailor holds the stakes, and when Perry loses, he hands the money over to

D’Amico.

It is obvious that the tailor is getting frustrated and probably wants to bet.

D’Amico looks back outside, and claims, “Okay, this is getting out of hand. I’m not a gambler

and you guys are taking this whole thing way too seriously. I got more important things to do than sit around playing cards all day…”

As D’Amico is talking, the tailor sees Perry bend the corner of the ace and wink at him.

Perry grabs D’Amico’s arm. “I’ll bet you a hundred dollars I can find the damn ace.”

Now D’Amico is put off. D’Amico steps back, pulls away from Perry’s grip, and takes out a big

roll of bills. “Put your money where your mouth is. I’ll bet you five hundred you can’t.”

“I’ve only got a couple hundred on me,” Perry says, “but my friend here might put up the rest.”

He gestures toward the tailor.

“Now wait a minute, only one guy can play…” argues D’Amico.

“Okay, I’ll let him pick then, how’s that?” He turns to the tailor and winks again conspiratorially,

“Is that okay with you friend?”

The tailor nods.

D’Amico agrees to one more toss—the cards are thrown. The tailor picks the card with the bent

corner.

It is not the ace.

D’Amico picks up the cash and the three cards and waltzes out.

Perry and the tailor stare at each other in shocked disbelief. They discuss the turn of events for a

few minutes. Perry points out, “We can’t go to the cops ‘cause we were all gambling.”

Angrily, Perry decides, “I’ll find that cheat and get our money back myself…”

The tailor is left waiting next to his empty register.

“Can you imagine?” Eddie Fields grinned. “In D’Amico’s play, the sucker was always standing

next to his own cash register full of money. That’s what you might call a sitting duck!”

**************************

Texas Twist

1980’s –1990’s

Somehow, the really smart con men who knew how to play the handkerchief switch got together

to form a new game called the “Texas Twist,” The players did not have worry about any strong arm approach because the victims were going to put the money right in their hand. They would perfect a story that was believable and designed to lure the victim into a situation that would reveal the “mark’s” own greed.

No longer would they have to fleece truck drivers out of a few hundred dollars or play the game

on a cardboard box in a downtown alley. They could work a few hours for thousands of dollars and when the victim went to the police, detectives who were not trained in bunco crimes, would raise their eyebrows in disbelief. Detectives would consider this nothing more than a gambling game or a civil case, and there was nothing they could do.

Many very old players will still relate how several cities in the United States had a “tree.” Bunco

detectives, rather than have their city ravaged by con men coming from all over the country, would let certain players make some money playing con. In return, these players would inform on new con men coming in from out of town and taking off huge scores. The detectives got to make some arrests and control the offenses. The snitches got their mug shots removed from the mug books and if there was a big uproar over a particular score, the con men would simply kick back the money to the mark.

A typical good “Texas Twist” team will consist of about four players. At least two of the players

will be white males and at least one player, the key to the entire team, will be black. The last player will be a driver who will make sure that he will never be seen by the victim. His role is to pick up the team after the money changes hands and to watch the victim inside the bank.

Typically, his take is 20% of the score. Although several all white teams have tried to play the game alone, not many have succeeded.

The black player is often referred to as the “lame,” the “catch man,” or the “hit man” because he

approaches the victim first and entices him into the game. He normally looks for white males between the ages of 55-75. The victim, although he might look like a farmer, might have a big diamond ring on or drive a new pickup truck and appear to have money

Most of the time the team will choose businesses which attract many people such as Wall Mart,

Payless, and Home Depot. Most teams like these businesses, if they are playing small towns, because they are close to the freeways and they can be miles away before the victim decides to contact the police. Sometimes, the suspects will consistently work bank parking lots to select victims and follow them from that location.

The story used by the particular team may vary but is usually consistent and predictable. The

Black player introduces himself as Roscoe Duvall or some similar name and says he is from Tupelo, Mississippi or some small town in the South. Roscoe has just come to town from the farm because his relative died in some kind of accident and he is there to pick up some insurance money.

He has a lot of money at the bus station and flashes a large money roll frequently assuring the

mark that he is not going to rob him. Roscoe met a girl at the bus station who offered him sex for $500.

After giving her the money, she gave him a piece of paper with her address on it. Since he doe3s not read or write, he asks the mark for some help in finding the woman and shows him the “catch card” with the address on it. Roscoe offers the victim money for assistance but rarely gives him any.

As quickly as he can, he gets into the victim’s vehicle and they begin driving away from the

scene. The other members of the team will follow the victim’s vehicle and have been given a hand signal that the victim shows promise. As Roscoe Duvall and the victim drive along, Roscoe will ascertain whether or not the victim has any money, how he feels about gambling, whether he is prejudiced, and will use any of these characteristics to his advantage. Roscoe emphasizes that he does not trust banks and has always let his boss man keep his money for him because he only charges him 25%. He gives the appearance of being an ignorant country fool to be pitied and can be easily taken advantage of.

As they are driving, Roscoe asks the mark to pull over into a fast food restaurant while he gets

something to drink. At this point, the second and possibly a third suspect is introduced into the con game. After Roscoe comes back to the vehicle, he tells the mark that someone else might be able to help them find the address and the lady he met at the bus station.

As they are talking, the second suspect, often called the “cap” man, walks nearby pretending to

be a total stranger. Roscoe calls him over to the vehicle, still waiving his money roll, and begins to tell his story all over again. Both the second player and the mark attempt to get Roscoe to put his money in the bank because he is going to get robbed flashing the money roll. Roscoe will hear none of it and may insult them both, acting more ignorant than ever.

Roscoe will often describe how he has been waiting to have sex with a white woman and goes

into a graphic description of how he was having sex with his boss man’s daughter who was 13 at the time. This may illicit feelings of anger from the mark and the second suspect. The goal of a “cap” man is the have the mark identify with him and to cheat the stupid country bumpkin out of his money.

Many times this does not work. Many times victims do not want to cooperate with the second

suspect and want them all out of their vehicle. Most professional con men believe that every mark is dishonest and this trait alone is responsible for their being taken. But if the mark refuses to gamble, the team might continue as a simple handkerchief switch game where the victim holds the money while the country fool is taken to a prostitute.

The “cap” man’s job is to get the victim in a three-card monte card game by suggesting to

Roscoe that the lady Roscoe met at the bus station was a prostitute and they play a card game to fleece people of their money. Roscoe is only too eager to gamble.

The “cap” deals the cards and tells Roscoe how to win by selecting the red card from the two

black ones. He and Roscoe draw the mark into the game and the “cap” will tell the victim which card to select to cheat poor Roscoe. If he is mad enough at Roscoe, the mark will willingly play the card game.

If the mark is not interested he still has no way to get the two con men out of his vehicle. Good teams are able to select good victims and if everyone does his job, the mark is hooked.

After a sizable bet is made, the victim selects the card he is told will win the game and Roscoe’s

money. But it’s the wrong card! The “cap” gets mad and he and the victim give all their money and jewelry to Roscoe. Roscoe might wrap the jewelry and money in a bandanna. There may be an introduction of a third man, called the “hose man” who might mediate in case of arguments or hold the property while the victim goes to the bank. He often poses as the manager of the fast food restaurant and pretends to have no interest in the results of the gambling game.

The cap man instructs the mark again about which card to select and for the first time in hours,

Roscoe shows some kind of intelligence. He says that he will pay off but they did not have any money put up when they made the bet, and he is not sure they could have paid off if they had lost. It’s time to go to the bank and get some money to win their possessions back and Roscoe’s money. Both the victim and the “cap” go to the bank and withdraw money.

At this point, after the victim returns from the bank with his money, the con game can take

several turns. They can make a simple handkerchief switch and leave with the victim’s money. The victim gets a bandanna with cut up newspaper inside.

In recent years, the suspects perform a simple “walk off.” The “house man” or “cap” comes out

to meet the victim and tells him to give him the money. He will go inside the fast food restaurant and get the mark’s possessions and half of the money. Since the mark has met the manager of the restaurant, he suspects nothing and waits in his vehicle. The suspects simply walk out another exit door and leave the scene.

Within minutes, they are on the freeway and out of town.

Now the victim must decide how he is going to report his role in this swindle to the police. Is he

an innocent bystander, a willing participant or basically an honest person who was manipulated by a professional team of con men? Will he be believed or laughed at by the police?

***********************

The Girl at the Bar

1990’s

Mark is in town on business, and is sitting in a quiet, expensive bar near his hotel. It is late, but

he is intrigued by a beautiful, sexy lady who is sitting alone at the bar. Mark watches until he’s sure she isn’t waiting for someone. He approaches her, and the two begin to talk.

The girl, Dianne, is both flirtatious and in high spirits. She is dressed well and acts like she has

money.

Mark buys her a drink. Dianne warms up to Mark, and he begins to think this night might be

more interesting than anticipated.

A second man, Jack, comes over to the bar to order a drink. Dianne engages him in conversation,

and pretty soon Jack begins to compete with Mark for the lady’s attention. It turns out that Jack is an amateur magician, and he does a few simple card tricks, but they are not very impressive.

Dianne is wild about them. “You’re really great! Do you do that thing with the three cards? Like

they do on 42nd Street?”

Jack launches into a lecture on the trickery involved in that swindle, and explains that no one can

keep up with the cards when they are thrown by an expert card sharp such as himself.

Dianne insists on a demonstration, and gets ticked off when she is wrong several times in a row.

She is obviously very competitive, and doesn’t like to lose.

Jack tries to quit as he begins to sense that the game frustrates her. She refuses to let him quit.

“Look, I’ll bet you twenty. Don’t be such a chicken. It’s only money for Chris’ sake. Come on. Twenty on the ace this time.”

She shames Jack into playing for money.

Each time she plays, she misses.

Dianne turns to Mark all in a twist, “Can you follow this? I can’t figure it out…”

Mark says he can keep up with it pretty well. He was right every time so far, after all.

Dianne bets another twenty, and when Mark suggest a card, she turns it and wins. She puts her

palm on Mark’s chest, “You’re great!”

Jack says, “Well look, I’m not going to play against the two of you.”

As Jack orders a drink and is talking to the bartender, Dianne winks at Mark to get his attention,

and then touches her lips with a finger. She then marks the back of the ace on its corner with a smudge of lipstick and gives Mark’s hand an excited squeeze.

When Jack turns back, Dianne is insistent that he give her a chance to get the rest of her money

back. Jack is now obviously unhappy with the way things are going. He refuses and starts to leave.

Dianne holds him by the arm. “Oh, come on. I’ll bet you $500 that I can get it this time. I’ll put

up $250 and my boyfriend here will put up $250.”

Mark starts to protest. Dianne squeezes his knee and whispers into his ear, “Let’s you and me

spend his money tonight! Come on, baby, help me show this sleaze up!”

Mark still hesitates. Dianne whispers again, “Oh, you’ve got the money—I saw it when you

bought the drinks. Don’t be an idiot. Nobody passes up a sure thing!”

Mark gives in.

Jack is now copping a real attitude. He puts down his stakes, and Mark and Dianne match. Jack

throws the cards and turns to Dianne, “But you have to pick the card, not him. And no help.”

Dianne stands right up to Jack. “The bets already up. We didn’t agree to that. We both put up

money, its up to us to decide who chooses. Go ahead, Mark. You pick one.”

Mark reaches for the card with the lipstick on the back. The card that he knew was the ace…

It’s a loser.

Jack looks up at Dianne and Mark. “You two tried to cheat me, didn’t you?” He picks up the

money and turns away, as he walks off he says, “Shouldn’t try to kid a kidder…”

Dianne turns to Mark. “I can’t believe it! I think I’m going to be sick. How could that have

happened? Look, buy me another drink, I go to go to the ladies room.”

Mark sits at the bar nursing two drinks for what seems like a long time.

Race Monte

Late 1970’s

New York City. A Puerto Rican guy was throwing the three cards. There are three shills at the

game, and evidently only one sucker.

The shills are so different from each other in dress and manner they don’t appear to belong

together. There is a pretty lady in a business suit, an old touristy looking guy and a dweeb with a big paper shopping bag. His bag is where the cards, money, etc., are dumped when the mob splits the scene.

The blonde in the business suit has just won for the first time after taking the advice of the

sucker. “Hey, you’re good at this…” she says, resting her hand on his shoulder.

A black transvestite walks by the group, stops, and then pushes forward. She grabs the Queen

from the top of the box and flips it over. In the process, the corner of the card gets bent badly.

“You guys blind? I could see that Queen from a block away. What do I win, Mr. three-card

molly man?”

The grifter explodes and threatens the transvestite. “Don’t you ever mess with me like that again!

I’ll tear your head off you freak!”

The transvestite smarts off to him as she hurries on down the block. An exchange of insults and

awful language ensues. The grifter shouts out the most racist, homophobic, and threatening things he can think up. The two keep arguing as the transvestite hurries away.

“I mean it, jerk-off! I catch you back here again, you’ll be plenty sorry! Messing with me while I

try to make a living. I hate them queers anyway. Who’s bet?”

The shills and sucker are tearing their pants trying to get the money out of their pockets first. The

sucker of course, gets to make his bet.

The mob has used the transvestite shill’s disturbance in a number of ways. She bends the card in

a convincingly accidental manner, and she is the distraction that helps justify why the operator fails to notice the corner of the card is bent. The mark doesn’t suspect that the two are working together, and at the same time, the foul mouth, racist heart, and homophobic bluster of the operator help convince the sucker that the tosser is not such a nice person, and probably deserves to be taken.

Gypsy Switch

Loaned Cash for the Burning

Key West, Florida — A man was held and authorities were searching for a “psychic” in connection with a plot to charge a wealthy Swiss woman of $200,000 for taming her evil spirits. Louis George, 61, was held on a $1 million bond at the Monroe County jail. Authorities are still searching for 41-year-old self-described psychic Paula Marion.

Marion, who ran a Tarot card and palm reading shop in a small house on Key West’s historic Duval Street, and George were alleged to have used counterfeit money to fool Yvonne Cavin, 52 into paying over $200,000 to “appease the bad spirits around her.”

In the summer of 1995, Marion lured Cavin through free psychic readings. She eventually convinced Cavin to come up $15,000 in cash to tame the spirits plaguing her. In this scam, the psychic “loaned” Cavin the phony cash, which was burned in a ceremonial bowl druing a ritual. Cavin later wired money to the psychic to reimburse her, police said.

A few months later, Marion beguiled Cavin into putting up another $160,000 to appease the spirits. Marion and George again “loaned” Cavin $160,000 in phony bills in a briefcase left on the steps of a Miami church. Marion instructed Cavin not to look in the case “or it would invalidate the ceremony.” Again, she wired money to reimburse the pair. During the course of her dealings with Marion, Cavin lost a total of $200,000 in various scams, police said.

Cavin began to see the light when she saw Marion’s husband driving a new Mercedes sports car shortly after one transaction.

“This certainly is a major fraud case as far as we’re concerned,” Monroe Sheriff’s spokeswoman Becky Herrin said. “But this fraud or type of fraud happens all across the country.”

Mother’s Curse

A beautiful 24 year-old bartender named Constance in Greensboro, North Carolina, goes to a local fortune teller’s home/office with the typical neon palm sign on the front porch.

The woman who invites her in and offers her tea explains how the sitting is usually ten dollars, but that if she has special problems or questions and needs more than can be offered in ten minutes, the price will be higher, depending on what is involved.

The reading begins, but very quickly, as it is apparent that the lady bartender is very distressed and having a rough time financially and in her love life, and is seriously seeking some answers and is “open to the spiritual world,” the reader becomes more and more concerned.

Finally, she explains to the young lady that there is a lot of strange and ominous indications in her palm, and that was very unusual and out of her experience.

The psychic tells the girl to please wait for a few minutes, while she goes and wakes her mother. She insists that only her mother–a renowned mystic and powerful witch–would be able to figure out the meanings, and that it is extremely important to wait and see the old woman.

Shortly after, the reader returns with an ancient old woman, obviously sleepy and dressed in a bathrobe. The old woman is disgruntled and impatient, but she sits down next to the bartender and takes her hand gently. She studies the palm with a professional and calm manner, and then suddenly looks up at her daughter in real alarm, and back to the young lady, “I must speak with my daughter for a few minutes in private. Please wait here.”

When the pair return, it is the daughter who speaks, while the old lady just stares at the bartender with concern, almost fear.

“My mother is convinced that you are living under a curse or oppression of spirits. This can make life unbearable and impossible. The evil and misfortune that seems to always come your way is a result of this terrible force. We will not charge you for tonight. My mother wants to help you. She will burn candles and meditate on your situation. Please give us your address and phone number. We will call you in a few days, and Mother will give you her advice on ending this spiritual malevolence.”

A few days later, the young bartender picks up the phone. It is the psychic.

“My mother has been praying for you nonstop. She is very worried for you. She has burned many candles, and has to ask you to help her. She wants you to buy an orange, an apple and an egg. The egg should be carefully hard-boiled, so that there are no cracks in it.

“The orange and apple should be free of pits or tears or holes, and have no visible blemishes. These you must wrap in a piece of white linen that has never been used before. Please put them under your pillow when you go to bed tonight.

“In the morning, please take them out from under the pillow still wrapped in the linen, and do not open the linen or touch the items at all. This is very important! It could be very dangerous…Tomorrow afternoon, come to my house, and bring the linen package with you. Remember, after you have dreamed upon these items, you MUST not touch anything in the linen bundle with your bare hands…Do you understand what I am saying?

“Please do not worry. My mother is a great lady, and very powerful. She will deal with this matter for you.

“You are in loving and knowledgeable hands.”

The young bartender does as she is told.

She returns to the psychic’s home with the items asked for the next afternoon. The psychic reader calls in her mother. The old lady places the linen bundle on the kitchen table and carefully opens it.

She stares coldly at the three items, and passes her hands slowly over each item in the linen. When she places her hands over the orange, she shrinks back as if burnt.

She says some strange verses in an unknown language, and then picks up the orange and reaches into a drawer and picks up a knife. She slowly cuts through the orange and breaks it open. The entire inside of the orange is filled with a black, oozing waxy mass that smells horribly of sulfur.

“This is what I feared! This is the evil that is within you. The sweet fruit drew it out of you during your dreams. This will eventually choke you and destroy you! It is a spell of great power, placed on you or your family by a powerful witch.”

The younger witch turns to Constance. “You must leave now. Do not worry. My mother will not charge you for any of this. She apologizes for those who use the great work for evil such as this…It disgusts her. Now you must go home and try not to worry. My mother will find the source of this evil, and will break it like a reed. We will be your friends. You owe us nothing. Don’t speak to anyone about this matter for now. Those that do not understand and do not believe can actually put themselves in danger by interfering or trying to help. You must keep silent for the time being for the sake of the others in your family and among your friends…When my mother has found the path, she will have me call you. Now please kneel down, and let the old one give you a blessing of protection that will seal you from further attack from the dark ones.”

Constance receives a phone call a week later, and the younger psychic urges her to come over immediately. They have good news! When Constance arrives, the two are very excited.

“Much has been revealed! We know where this is coming from. Your grandmother or grandfather cheated a witch at business, or else she thought she was owed money by one of them. She laid on your ancestor a curse of great evil and power. You have inherited money or objects that are under that curse.”

Eventually, after much prayer, burned candles and meditation, and much discussion about the money and properties that could possibly be involved in the curse, the Old Woman is able to “discover” the amount of money that must have been involved in the original curse. The witch who made the curse is dead, and is demanding the debt be paid from the grave. She will not be satisfied until the $3,000 she believes she is owed is sent to her.

Only by sending the ancient dead witch the money will she be mollified and leave Constance and her family alone.

“You must bring the money, all of it, here at 11:00 on the night of the full moon. Wrap it in this napkin I have blessed.”

When the girl returns a few days later with the beautifully embroidered linen napkin, filled with $3,000 in new bills, the three walk for miles to a deserted bridge over a dark wooded river. The Old Woman tells Constance that she must fling the bundle as far as she can downstream while chanting, “Take what you are owed, ancient one, and leave us all alone.” The two explain how she is to hold the bundle for the ceremony and how it should be thrown. They demonstrate. In the process, the bundle is switched for an identical bundle with an identical embroidered napkin, but this one is filled with newsprint cut to the size of bills.

Constance takes the linen wrapped money and flings it into the river. It is quickly lost in the darkness.

Classic Cons

Pigeon Drop or Lottery Scam

In this type of scam, the suspects work in pairs. One befriends an unsuspecting citizen, the “pigeon,” claiming to have either a large sum of money he just found or the winning Lotto ticket. He cannot go to a bank because he/she is an immigrant or another plausible sounding reason. As the first suspect is talking with the victim, the second suspect approaches and gets involved. One of the suspects will go to phone and call a lawyer. The suspect returns and says they can keep the money and split it three ways but to get their share, all have to put up some “good faith” money. The second suspect shows he has his money with a roll of what appears to be cash. Everyone agrees to get the money then meet at a designated place to divide the proceeds. The victim contributes his “good faith” money as well as the second suspect by putting the money into a bag. You are then given the bag to hold while the two suspects go to collect the money. Covertly a switch has been made and you’re left holding a bag containing only shredded paper.

Charity Switch

Very similar to the Pigeon Drop, but with a slight variation: You are approached by one suspect who claims to have recently come to America with a large amount of cash to be delivered to a church, but no one is at the church. The suspect tells you he must leave the country soon and asks you and another person (a second suspect) to deliver the money later. You are asked to put up “good faith” money to show you are honest. The suspects switch the money and disappear.

Advance Fee Scams

In these types of frauds, you are contacted, usually by telephone, and told you have won a grand prize which is a very large sum of money. To collect the winnings, you must pay the taxes/fees up front for the money to be sent to you. The money you send is usually to a location out of State or another Country such as Canada of Africa. After a short period you are contacted again and told there were problems with the winnings and you must send additional money to collect your prize. The prize never comes, and you realize you have been scammed.

Endless Chain

Also know as a Pyramid or Ponzi Scheme. This is any scheme whereby a participant pays a valuable consideration for the chance to receive compensation for introduction of one or more additional persons into the scheme. In reality, the only people who get the money are those who are at the top, usually the organizers or suspects. Those towards the bottom get nothing.

Planned Insolvency (Bust Out)

A business fraud where the suspects request credit, via a fraudulent credit application, for small quantities of goods or services. They initially pay as agreed. The credit line and order is subsequently increased with the suspects receiving 30 to 45 days to pay. After receiving a large order, the suspects and their business disappear. Sometimes, the suspects will pay with a bad check in order to gain more time to make their escape.

Theft by False Pretenses

A form of theft whereby the possession and title to money or other valuable property is voluntarily transferred from the victim to the suspect who has made a misrepresentation (a lie). The suspect never had any intention of holding up their end of the bargain. Before you realize their dishonesty they are long gone with your money.

Bank Examiner

The suspect approaches you or may call you on the phone claiming to be a police officer who is investigating bank employees for embezzlement. You are asked to go to your bank and withdrawal cash so the officer can watch the bank employees. You are told to give the money to a “detective” who will return the money to the bank for you. The suspect disappears with your money.

Sweetheart Swindle

This scam often involves an elderly man who is befriended by a young women. She convinces him she truly cares about him and implies a romantic interest. She tells him she needs money for rent, food, furniture, her business, or she needs surgery. She may swindle him out of his life savings, often causing him to file bankruptcy. This is a very common fraud among Gypsy women.

Fortune-Telling / Psychic Fraud

You may be approached at stores, hotels, restaurants, etc., or when you go to a physic reader. The psychic convinces you that you have an evil curse or evil spirits that must be “cleansed”. Cleansing is an ongoing process that requires you to pay thousands of dollars in cash, jewelry, vehicles, etc.

Lost Pet or Lost Property Scam

You place an ad in a local paper about a lost pet or lost property. You then receive a call from a long haul truck driver who says he found your lost item but he is now hundreds of miles away. He will return your property (or advise of the location of your pet) after you send a “reward” by Western Union.

Mail Theft

Both incoming and outgoing mail can be stolen from your mailbox. Your checks can be “washed” to remove payee and amount information and altered so the suspect can cash them for more money. The thieves can obtain your name and credit card numbers from your outgoing bills and use this information to charge new purchases. Credit card applications can be stolen and altered. The suspect then applies for a new credit card in your name and goes shopping.

Home Repair

These suspects go door-to-door offering you a great deal on yard work, roof repair, chimney sweeping, house painting, etc. They may have “extra” supplies left over from their last job so they say they can save you money. Usually their products and labor are inferior. At the completion of the work, they claim to have used more supplies or there was more work than anticipated so they demand more money from you. They can be very intimidating.

Distraction / Impostor Burglary

A suspect comes to you house claiming to be from a City or County agency such as water or power. He needs to come into your house to check for problems. Once inside the suspect distracts you and steals cash and other valuables.

Canadian Sweepstakes

You receive a call from someone who says you have won a Canadian sweepstakes, but you must pay Canadian taxes before your winnings can be claimed. You are told to send a cashier’s check or wire money via Western Union to them in Canada. It’s a scam, your winnings never arrive. Also be advised, it is illegal for U.S. citizens to enter foreign lotteries (US Code Title 18, Part 1, Chapter 95).

Purchase of Lottery Tickets

You receive mail or calls from a company representative who will purchase lottery tickets for you in another state (usually Florida) and send you copies of your tickets. They keep the originals so they can collect for you if you win. You may even be conned into writing them monthly checks or allowing them to debit your checking account so they can purchase lottery tickets for you on a weekly basis. You have been scammed. The only one collecting anything is them.

Pitch Men, Street Salesmen, and Jam Auctions

Carnival Games and Scams

Change Raising and Short Change

Medicine Pitches, Foot Pads, Cleansing Foot Baths

The Car that Runs on Water

Pick-Pocketing and Whiz Mobs

Speakers or Steaks from a Van

Movie Scams

Scams that have been depicted in movies are likely good choices for video analysis.

Double Saw Swap – The Grifters

Follow the money as con artist Roy Dillon (John Cusack) throws low at a crowded bar. First, he flashes a $20 bill, and orders a drink. When the barkeep turns to pour, Roy palms the twenty, and switches it with a rolled-up $10 bill. The bartender is oblivious, he delivers the drink, grabs the sawbuck, and gives change for a $20. Free booze, free money-fantastic.

The Rag – Hustle

The show kicks off with a securities swindle known as the Rag. Posing as an investment executive, one of the characters claims his company’s supercomputers can delay international stock orders by a fraction of a second, enabling him to buy shares before their price shoots up. Seduced by the promise of guaranteed profits, the gullible “investor” trades a suitcase full of cash for a big bunch of lies.

Latin Lotto – Matchstick Men

Pity the illegal immigrant who can’t redeem his “winning” lottery ticket, for fear of being deported. Fortunately for him, he finds a sympathetic soul, willing to help him claim his millions. Before handing over his lucky stub, however, he asks for a “good faith” deposit-say, a few thousand bucks. (This way he won’t get cheated, right?) Turns out, (surprise!) the lotto ticket is counterfeit. And the deposit money? Adios, amigo.

Nicolas Cage is not Latino, but as a conman in Matchstick Men he teaches a variation of this trick to his 14-year-old daughter (Alison Lohman). Because, hey, even white girls gotta grow up sometime.

Pump And Dump – Boiler Room

As an unlicensed broker at a seedy firm, Seth (Giovanni Ribisi) hypes worthless stocks to naive investors, placing cold calls to the elderly and the plain stupid, to artificially “pump” the value of the shares. When the inflated stock price hits a high, the insiders dump their shares, and walk away with the money. The selloff inevitably decimates the stock value. Outside shareholders, like Seth’s sucker clients, are left holding the bag.

Cold Reading – South Park: Season 6: “The Biggest Douche in the Universe”

After Cartman ingests Kenny’s soul (mistaking his ashes for chocolate milk mix), Chef takes the boys to see TV psychic John Edward, in hopes that the Crossing Over host can speak with their dead friend. He can’t. Stan demonstrates the “Cold Reading” technique on a crowd of strangers. He spurts vague generalities (“It’s an older man…”) until eliciting a response from the audience. (“My father!”) The crowd concludes that Stan really can communicate with the dead, ultimately leading to his psychic showdown with John Edward—the biggest douche in the universe.

The Badger – Derailed

The Badger is a timeless classic. A married man is seduced by a foxy babe. They go to a hotel room. He gets undressed, assumes the position. Before the deal gets sealed, however, her accomplice bursts into the room. Extortion and blackmail follow. Derailed offers a few dark twists on this theme. Clive Owen plays a married advertising exec, whose flirtation with a fellow Chicago commuter (Jennifer Aniston) goes much, much farther than he expected. He never gets to third base—but he gets screwed, all right.

Ponzi Schemes – Pay It Forward

Turn-of-the-century fraudster Charles Ponzi masqueraded as an investment broker. Rather than actually investing his clients’ money, he simply paid them off with funds from subsequent investors (after taking his own cut, of course). Suckers flocked to get in on the action. When authorities pulled the plug, the little guys and the latecomers lost everything.

In Pay It Forward, young Trevor (Haley Joel Osment) pitches his own Ponzi scheme, ostensibly as an assignment for his social studies teacher (Kevin Spacey). The gist: You help me today, somebody helps you tomorrow. We know how these things end. Badly.

The Straight Hustle – White Men Can’t Jump

Billy Hoyle (Woody Harrelson) doesn’t resort to the usual tactics of streetball hustlers. No sandbagging, no missed shots, no trash talk. He just shows up, and acts Caucasian. The other pick-up players in Venice Beach assume he ain’t got game, and start making bets bigger than their asses can cash. Which makes you realize—if he’d played his cards right, Larry Bird could’ve made a bundle.

Chump Checks – Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels

While mulling over their money troubles, one of the boys in Guy Ritchie’s B-crime bonanza proposes the following ripoff: You open up a shell company called, say, Ass-Ticklers Anonymous, then place an advertisement announcing a breakthrough in butt-plug technology. You charge $25 per pop, and instruct the customer—for the sake of propriety—to send their checks to your other company with an innocuous name, ATA Industries. After receiving payment, you send the customer a note of apology, claiming you’ve run out of stock. You include a refund check explicitly from Ass-Ticklers Anonymous, betting that the sucker would be too embarrassed to cash it.

Gypsy Switch – The Spanish Prisoner

David Mamet’s con masterpiece is more addictively mind-boggling than Three Card Monte on crystal meth. Nice guy Joe Ross (Campbell Scott) has developed an industrial “process” worth a great deal of money. He keeps it written down in a red notebook. Ultimately, he falls prey to a sophisticated scheme orchestrated by Jimmy Dell (a humorless Steve Martin) with a full cast of accomplices.

How do the grifters separate the fool from his formula? They create diversions and sow confusion—then simply switch the red notebook for one that looks exactly like it. At least, we think that’s what happened…